This man envies me. I'm rich, I'm sexy, I have a beautiful family only science could give me:
Look at how my wife wants me. She's only acting as if she doesn't, because I'm too awesome to resist. All you jealous kooks out there wish you had my life. I can tell my scientifically engineered boys are going to be a bald douchebags like myself. I told them to hide the baldness with some awesome mutton-chops:
That is also my Facebook profile picture. My wife Christie Lee told me I looked like an inbred version of Conway Twitty. She was only joking. She tells me I'm sexy everyday after I beat her senseless!
Envy me, you jealous goofballs!
